Four Walls
by primadonna cat
Summary: A verse novel set during the time when Kyp Durron was held in Coruscant after his dark side rampage.
1. Chapter 1

_**day one: call me a Criminal**_

**Four Walls**

I am used to solitude

Used to four walls

Imprisonment

Has held me for so long

Eight years

Broken by months of freedom

Only to taunt me

To say

This is not for you

Liberty Equality

Foundations of democracy

Voice Choice

Unpredictable

Like me

Here is the predictable

Follow orders

Keep

To

Yourself

Simple

Maybe that's all I needed

Yavin

The praxeum

Learning in action

Not

For

Me

**Brother**

If not for me, my brother

The one who held my hand after every nightmare

The one who tolerated the tagalong toddler

Would be alive

Would be flesh, a stormtrooper

A job

Not chosen

But conscripted

But Zeth

Zeth the boy I see

Each time I step before the mirror

Zeth

Alive

Instead

Dying

I see his face before me

Stunned

Unable to make sense of the action unfolding

Taught to follow, not to question

I see him for only a moment and he's gone

Gone with the planet known as Carida

**Gone **

Ashes

In

The

Galaxy

Gone

Was it a million?

A billion?

Does it matter? Gone and the guilt…

…and the wound that refuses to mend

**Table Manners**

Chew with your mouth closed

Use your fork

Say thank you say please

A mother's words echo in my cell as

I chew on my afternoon meal

Better than Kessel's

Nothing like home

**Second Day**

At Yavin I sat high in a tree and watched as greater beasts ate smaller ones

And that was the way of things

Nature's selection

Nameless birds

Zone in on their prey

The flitnat

Pesky insect

Stung

As I sat in that tree

The birds only doing what nature intends

Taking only what they need

Taking for need

Is there anything wrong with that

We do not call them murderers

Savages

Evil

They are just hungry

Needy

Empty

I encouraged the birds

"Here, tasty, filling"

They circled

Emboldened by my promises

Found

Dinner

**Nourishment**

My mother would bake sweet smelling rolls

To wash down with cold blue milk

We'd sit at the table and talk about my day at school

The feelings of others

The Force unnamed, but she understood

Fear named one child

Loss named another

There was glee and the unbound joy of childhood

And my mother, in her tender way reminded me that I had feelings too

"What made you smile today, tell me what was good"

Focused on sorting

The grays from the yellows

[mostly gray]

My mouth, stuffed with cotton

My heart filled with sadness, stammers

Me? Sometimes I am empty

Her hands busy and nimble

Stop to take mine

You're special little one

Her touch calm and soft surrounding mine

These hands will do great things

Her hands, a tingle of strength

She knew my emotions, intimately

Listening, with the wisdom and a promise

There would always be plenty

When we had our love

**The New Guard**

Steps into the cell

Tall and muscled

His blue eyes search me

So I face the wall

He's one of so many

Hired to protect the galaxy

His commands go unanswered

His anger, a tingle down my spine

The wall is interesting, gray, certain

I do not have to search for any variation here

Predator or prey?

Who's who today?

He doesn't see me smile amused by my rhyme

Another order is heat upon my back

A flitnat of sorts

Pesky

Hard to ignore

Insignificant

The prod of the stun baton

Reminds me

Who is in charge

And that being the flitnat is

A matter of perspective

The prod of the stun baton

Lowers me to the floor

Squashed

Size matters not

Right?

Tell that to the flitnat

**School Lessons**

I learned to read when I was four

I'm not joking

I'm not a fool

By the time I arrived

At Deyer's primary school

I was ready

For the next class

And so they let me go

Even then an outcast

"how come he's not like his brother?"

Stung

I thought I showed them everything Zeth had taught me

I followed every rule

Answered every question

Did every assignment

Still the outcast

At Yavin the story repeated itself again

Even adults get jealous

Not fair

I only wanted to learn

Be the best Jedi

Make Han proud

And maybe some of it was for me

A glass snake made a cozy home in Tionne's cupboard

I found it, poised to strike

Dispatched it with the Force

She cried over it's death

Not even a thank you

The looks

I know them

How can they be jealous of me?

I've nothing they'd ever want

I'd trade my life for any other any day

Yavin

Patience

Tionne sings the Joy of the Jedi

The others, genuine excitement

For me?

The pace was too slow

The work was too easy

They were jealous

They were happy to see me go

Despised for being me

The glass snake is scary but harmless

Its strike paralyzing only briefly

Like a quick zap of Force lightning

But there are snakes like the condacara

Beautiful and silent

Their venom irreversible

Like a long course of Force lightning

Forking tendrils bringing forth immeasurable pain

Lessons are taught outside the classroom

I've learned the greatest lesson of all

Trust no one

If I am lucky

Daala will find Yavin

And they'll feel the strike of the condacara

**If this is how we age I don't want to grow up**

Arter Stelum

Psychiatrist

Never thought he'd have to

Analyze

A hollow soul

Who did he wrong to end up with me

End of his career?

Retirement?

How does a head get so bald?

What cruel hoax does nature pull on the males

He types away at his datapad

His hands are dry

Flimsi skin pulled tight over boney knuckles

I wonder

And realize the words have come form my mouth

Because he answers

"No, I have never been in a fight, have you?"

An exchange?

No, just a stray string of syllables

He types away

"So Kyp

Want to tell me about your brother?"

Rodder

I'd stand and pace if not for the shackles

And likely he knows I'm his captive

The glass snake strikes

This time, I'm not there to protect, but to encourage

That which is nature's selection

Right hand trembles, clenched in a fist

Anguished cry

Left hand clenches his right, no doubt numb

Guards gather

Innocent face

Looks like this session is over

**Later in my bed**

I wonder, what is this feeling inside?

I'm beyond guilt

This was my civic duty

But something clawing, gnawing, digging its talons into my flesh keeps at me

Guilt

…but the guilt is not for the millions…or the billions, but for the failure

That I am

That I always will be

For not finding him, saving him,

In time

Dead.

Not just Zeth, but me

**I Dream **

I dreamed I killed my brother. Not with the superweapon but with my hands

I saved him, whisked him from the planet as its primary exploded

Only to kill him

He attacked me with a knife, tried to stop me from my mission

I had no choice

We fought

He tried to stop me

His duty, but I had mine

Strong hands around my throat were no match for the dark side

I awoke

Just a dream or was it

Dead

Is still dead, no matter how it is accomplished.

**Han Visits**

It is hard to look at him

His face is worn, tired, because of me

It's his own fault really

For thinking he could save me

The darkside had me way before we met

It started the day my parents died

And every injustice became a brick to build a wall

A wall thicker than my cell

Dammit Han leave me alone!

You have no right to care for me

Go on with your life

He doesn't move, doesn't even respond

If I could walk away from him I could

Instead I stand in the corner like some errant child

He rambles on about me, the laws, Leia

How they're trying to help me

But I ignore him

He'll learn eventually I'm not worth saving

Better to have left me at Kessel

**Old**

I used to have this dream

Of floating, or flying

I'd soar far over the oceans of Deyer

I'd never tire

Never need to seek land

Lord over the sea

Now, that memory

Leaves me cold

I have flown over oceans and planets

Cast my judgment

A burden not given to the weak


	2. Chapter 2

**Day Two: Call Me A Hero**

**What I would like**

…is to have the psychiatrists and the lawyers, the guards, and the NR representatives

leave

me

ALONE

A daily fools parade

Head jester,

Arter Stulem, the psychiatrist

spends an incredible amount of energy attempting to engage me in conversation to which he ends up only hearing the sound of his own

Voice

Empty echoes in the cell

Just like when Han comes

What do they want me to say?

I'm sorry, I won't do it again

The only thing I regret is killing Zeth, the rest of the Imperials got exactly what they deserved

OOO

**History Lesson**

We're at war

Still

Seven years after Palpatine's demise

The Empire

Is still a threat

They've yet to sign a treaty

To acknowledge the New Republic

To enter into trade

During war time

Single acts

Done for the betterment of the citizenry

Are acceptable

When the greater good of society is considered

Judge that

Please

OOO

**Civic Duty**

On Deyer I was a top student

Though but a little boy

I remember

My lessons well

Family Deyer Empire

Young Galaxy Guides

Ambassadors of His Imperial Majesty

Report those who threaten the safety of the Empire

A safe Empire is a safe Deyer

Civic Duty

Means caring for family [Zeth, I tried]

Deyer [to Avenge those wrongly imprisoned]

Empire [meaning government...meaning NR, now]

I know my civic duty

I think I did well

I told you I was a top student

OOO

**Laws about fish**

On Deyer

You could take no more than 3 fish per person per day

Fair enough

Everyone fished

Zeth taught me how to skim the net just so and find the largest schools

How to coax the fish into the net

[did he know he used the Force]?

No hooks for us

No

Once he'd tried to use the standard pole and line

And me

Upon seeing the fish ensnared

Upon feeling the fleshy mouth torn

Cried

No more

Cried

And cried

Until only my mother could console me

Fish pain

My pain

Empathy

Great gift

Nets, yes, we used nets

Nets were kind and the fish

Once taken, died quickly

At Zeth's hand

He'd stun with an electro wand

Quick

[painless Kyp...honest]

Done

I miss my home

OOO

**This time**

We were in the sun crusher again.

Zeth facing me with a vibroblade held low.

"Stand down rebel scum."

My brother hated me even though

This time

I had saved him!

"You have no idea what powers I have in just my hands, don't make me hurt you."

Zeth gave a deep throaty laugh.

"How am I to believe you, weakling. You are smaller than a girl."

I fell for Zeth's taunt and lifted my hands readying them to pour forth Force lightning

it never came

"Zeth no, I'm your brother."

I was no longer met with love

Dark eyes filled with hate

"You killed those I held as family.

Now you must die."

The vibroblade made contact with flesh.

Understanding…

Zeth, patient, compliant

Brainwashed.

My Imperial brother

None of this mattered

I was falling

Falling

Falling

Falling

OOO

**No Rescue**

I landed on the cold floor of my cell

It was still night

I could only sense it

A concept without meaning

No viewport or roof screen provided

To prisoners of the worst crimes

Relegated to the depths of Coruscant's levels

Below...out of sight

No hope

No release

No rescue

Han and Chewbacca would not come to save me

And why should they?

I had committed a man's crime

I would pay with my life


	3. Chapter 3

**day three: Call Me the Victim**

**Head Shrinking**

I don't think Arter or Dr. Stulem is making my head

Smaller

No, if anything it grows

With ideas and plans

None of them good

I wonder if Arter would like to take a walk with me through my mind

I've been in his

It's his duty to assess if I'm insane or not

He tells me it takes several visits to truly

Understand the mind of the patient

But I've been in his mind already

And I know

It's already been decided

He thinks I am 100% totally incurably insane

And I also sense he thinks nothing he says will help me

I frustrate him with my silence

And so he lectures

Today the theme is childhood and he prattles on about the importance of safety and feeling secure and trust and affection and the words come from his mouth but not from his mind or his heart they are empty because I know

That inside

Arter fears me

He reminds himself to say things to make me

Happy

Hopeful

Calm

Arter reminds me that I could not choose my childhood

That is the words he chooses to close our session

Finally I break silence

"but you could have chosen to not use the Suncrusher…those million didn't need to die"

He looks at me

face frozen

I've caught him, read his mind, and now he knows

He is not safe

He is very afraid

The guards aren't watching

Simple mind trick

Don't know of his peril

Can't stop me

"I'm sorry." He bows his head

Defers to me

The murderer I know he hates

Because he knows what I can do

I touch his balding head

No doubt he knows what befell Qwi Xux

One touch and the memories wash away

Like a tiny hut along a river

Innocent victim of a flood

I am the flood, but Qwi, she had no business

Knowing

She's my accomplice

Her knowledge was a boat on that river

No business being there in a storm

Of course it'd wash away with a torrent

Arter trembles

He's a damn child

Making mud pies by the calm river

Too busy being happy to notice

The clouds turning black

Overhead

I release my hands.

He knows he could visit me a thousand days and the effect would be the same

He is not a dam, he is not a levee

The river would rage on

OOO

**Meal Time Kessel**

At Kessel, weapons stirred soups and speared unknown proteins

Meal time was special

A moment of gratitude your body made it through another day

Barter

For every morsel

Added to flesh

Ache

Unwanted

OOO

**Meal Time Coruscant Correctional**

Such care if given to one so condemned

Plasti spoon, not even a plasti knife

Food already pre-cut into child like pieces

But, no child commandeers a ship and destroys a world

Each day there is food

I eat because there is nothing else to do,

I think it is drugged

I am sleepy

I sleep all day

And when I sleep I dream

OOO

**Games**

Zeth sits next to me in the co-pilots seat.

Love radiating from him.

We're returning the ship to Yavin.

We'll send it back into the gas giant

and take Zeth to

the Academy.

Master Skywalker would be pleased

I had found my brother

Force sensitive.

As I readied the ship for the reversion to sublight speed.

I looked to the co-pilot's chair

no longer Zeth

instead, a familiar face.

Familiar, but not welcome.

"Where did you come from?

"Nightmare land Kyp,"

The sneer

The smell of sweat

The stink of want

My belly

Cold

"I'm one of the many characters to come visit your dreams."

The bile

It raises

In my throat

Like before

Not removed

By time

Distance

"What do you say we play a little game like we used to at Kessel."

"Go away! You're not real."

I pushed the attacker back. "I'm stronger now, you can't touch me."

"Oh yes I can."

He advanced and I felt the same dread and helplessness I had as a boy.

"This is my dream and I want Zeth back."

I shouted, out loud.

The guards came into my cell,

their stun batons raised.

"Get way from me….stop!" I bolted to my feet;

the shocking end of the stun baton found me

sent me

deep

far

below

consciousness

to

the

floor

OOO

**Deep**

Cold stone caresses my cheek

The same one that still stings from my first fall

As I descended the ladder

Coaxed by Han to surrender

Guards

Muscled arms armed

And ready

Threw me

Stunned me

Cuffed me

Rolled me over on my back

My eyes large and round stared

Upward

Blood

Trickled

From my nose

"what a waste"

"he's only a boy"

"doesn't matter, he's still a killer"

"a freak"

Strange gloves on my hands

A collar around my neck

Like a wild beast

I'd seen those collars before

In holvids about good guys and bad guys

You can guess who got the collars

Now me

Little scrawny me

Had his very own collar

Knowledge

That my act was not heroism

But a crime

Ignorant

I could have killed them with a thought

They know nothing of the powers of the dark side

OOO

**Sometimes I think about escaping**

I could you know

Be easy

A thought

Their heads would explode

A lock-nothing

They know nothing of the powers of the dark side

My mind reached out to the guards

Four sit around a table playing sabacc

Glancing from time to time at the wall holocam

I flash it with the Force

See if they notice

I could make them leave

I reach for the mechanism in the door

Complicated four point electro bolt system

I tease it and feel a response

Sometimes I think about escaping

I could you know

Be easy

OOO

**Exercise**

There must be some rule here

Inmates cannot wither

Must have their daily ration of exercise

Guards unlock the cell

And walk me through corridors

Damp musty

There is no life here

Even the rats are tired

Exercise

So that I remain healthy

Before execution

OOO

**The Dark Man**

The dark man was here, I could sense it through the Force.

I shouted to no place in particular

"Come out! Show yourself! I didn't think you were the cowardly type!"

the shadows swayed and seemed to coalesce towards the corner at the other side of the cell door.

I scrambled to the shadow only to have it engulf me.

It felt cold, but I wasn't afraid. Let the Sith lord take me,

There was nothing he could try

That he hadn't already succeeded in taking

Only my life remained

and

Death, now or later was the same

The shadow seemed to disappear, and I scrambled on hands and knees after it.

The durocrete so cold against my burning hands

I wanted the coward to reappear

To answer for his crimes

I pressed against the space near the toilet

Had he gone there or into a crack in the floor?

I wedged my fingers into the cracks where the durocrete wall met the floor.

There wasn't really any space, not like at the Temple at Yavin, but I found one place where the dead Sith's spirit must have disappeared to.

He was there inside the wall, in the space between my cell and what must have been another

"Come out of there Kun!

"Come out! Face me!

The brick did not yield to the kicks from my slippered feet

A double thick wall?

I could take it down

Another kick, did the brick move?

Make him respond

Make him angry

"You used me…you used me! Get out here and fight me!

You cowardly rodder!"

My fingers tingled, felt as if they would burst with the energy within

I'd draw him out myself

Hands raised, burning, trembling,

r e l e a s i n g

A BLAST of force lightening into the crack.

Laughter responded.

Who?

Oh, just me

Blissful to let go of my anger

Made me think just for a moment I'd

Purged

Him from my system

Until I turned around

Hands still streaming violet forks of energy

Laughter, joyous laughter masking the sound of the blasters charging up

Of the guards calling to each other

Their panic smashing my durocrete wall

Reminding me I was human

No, I was a monster

I would show them what it meant to be a Sith

But their panic gave way to resolve and the flash of white light

OOO

**White**

I don't know who he is

Over me

White on white

Too bright

He has trouble speaking Basic

As he touches me with his cold white hands

Cold

Like Kessel

Cold

My tongue thick

I try to explain

I shouldn't be here

I've committed no crime

I'm just a boy taken with his family

I'm so tired of the cold

And the dark and the long days without end

The gloves

That separate me from the

Spice, the crystal of bliss and invincibility

White

It's too bright after a day in the mine

Can't this stranger understand

Words leave me and travel

Far

Away

Into The air…

OOO

**Smell**

The lights blind, but focus is possible

I hear

A word…through this fog…electrocuted

Han?

Holds my hand, cold, but warmth

A touch….brings me…to reality

Where has he come from?

This is not Kessel

Kessel was before

Han came later

Why doesn't he hear me?

Finally, the smell of barbeque, I remember Han grilling nerf steak saying,

"this is how Corellians celebrate a victory!"

Before, or was that after?

After what? When did we have time to celebrate?

Must be one of those dreams

That usually don't end so well

Fleshy, that smell is barbeque

But we're not on the terrace

There is no victory

OOO

**White Tunic**

It's some being, over me, staring

Speaking in muffled tones

This one speaks Basic

But

No one has brought food

Or music

Or games

At a picnic you don't lie on a cot feeling like something has chosen you to be the main course

You don't feel the concern of the being in white hovering over you

You don't feel like you've spent an hour in the cooker

At a picnic you would feel relaxed

My heart beats so loud, no stethoscope is needed

This isn't a picnic.

OOO

**Shock**

Voices speak in the white

"He's still in shock from the stun.

Quite bad

But

his vitals are fine.

He just needs rest.

Through the white I see there are others in the room

Dark shapes

But

Not the dark man.

White tunic speaks

"You are not to stun him again, understand.

Another blast could kill him."

An order….to the guards?

Why did he worry about killing me.

I'd be executed anyway.

OOO

**Han part two **

"Kid, you scared me.

You were flopping around like a fish when I came in."

It's Han speaking with his usual tone

Trying to sound light hearted

When he is filled with sorrow

Didn't he remember who he was addressing?

"Guess I have great timing.

Did you have another nightmare."

I found nodding to be best.

"Look, I want to bring you up to date with what Leia's been doing.

She's working with the council to get you a trial soon.

"They'll…ex.." Han cut me off.

My words a gasp in my dry throat.

"No, you're a minor, they won't execute you,

though people are calling for it.

They want to be seen as a democracy,

the New Republic, so they want to disassociate

from anything the rings of the Empire,

including executing children."

"Not…child."

Rasp, where has my voiced disappeared to?

"True, but still not legally adult either….."

"….which means life…in prison….no."

My chin trembled, but then a determined and angry face replaced that look.

"I can't ,

I spent eight years already,

I can't, rather die."

"I'll do everything I can to get your punishment reduced. "

He pats my head affectionately and gives me that grim smile that loosens a brick

Everytime

"Get rested, you're still really weak."

"All I do is sleep." But already my eyes had closed.

"Thanks Han, you're my only friend."

Han nodded and gave me one last pat before standing and exiting the cell,

and me, the once promising Jedi who nearly became a Sith, slept on.


	4. Chapter 4

**day four: Call Me the Enemy Forever**

**Participants**

In this saga

Known as my life

There are two types of beings

One type is guilty as charged

That would be me

But not just me

Honest

I didn't act alone

The list is long

Palpatine

Vader

Doule

Daala

Furgan

Countless nameless Imps

Their decisions

Made me

Into what I am today

The other type is the innocent bystander

Beings who became a part of the

Kyp Durron Show

But who never gave their permission

But I think there are innocent casualties in

Every war

And don't fool yourself into thinking

The war

Is over

It's not

The Empire would gladly come forth and

Reclaim Coruscant

And every one of them is guilty

And they will get what they deserve

Just like Carida

Twenty million troops won't be joining the Imperial

War effort

I have to say that was a stunning blow

And I did it all myself

Exar Kun was watching

Teaching me his dark lessons

But I pushed the button

I carried out the plan

I'll make no excuses

Not hide under the guise if being a kid

Or insane

Or even possessed

I did it

I am guilty as charged

Unfortunately Zeth, the casualty

To my cause

And I've heard others

Families, children or the officers

Stationed there

Died too

But they paid the price

For their fathers and mothers who chose

To be Imps

Instead of Rebels

Rebuilding democracy

I did it for my mom and dad

Who believed in freedom

And paid with their lives

So if a few innocents died

I'm sorry

In the big picture

I did more good

Than harm

oOOOo

**So they tell me**

A HoloNet News reporter is coming

Today to my cell

To interview

Me

They must be joking

Or have a sick sense of

Humor

About a matter that isn't funny

At all!

Who knows how it will be

Presented to the

Public

When Han comes I should ask him

Am I a news story?

There were holocams that day

When three squads of New Republic guards were needed

To take one scrawny teenager into custody

Wonder what that looked like

Me all trussed up in stun cuffs and chains

When they attached that shock collar

I knew it was final

Only used on the very very

Dangerous

Criminal types

Capital offense

Murderers

Me

oOOOo

**My side of the story**

Strapped into a chair

Cuffed in every way imaginable

Unable to scratch an itch

I sit in the door way of my cell

The reporter

An attractive red headed human in her twenties

Sits two meters away

At the table where

The guards sit and play sabacc

And spend their days

Waiting

For me to have another nightmare

So they can

Do their jobs

And feel useful

For a change

Red says her name is Jennet

She wants to know my side of the story

So I ask her

What's the other side?

She watches her words

Cautious

Poor thing

Has

No

Idea

I can

Read

Her

Mind

But I wait

Rather see what she comes up with

Reading minds is nice

A handy sort of thing

But it gets pretty dull when you do it

All the time

Jennet smiles

Opens her data pad and

Reads

An article to me

_**The Article**_

_Kyp Durron, age sixteen, was taken into custody yesterday after a two week rampage across the galaxy. The youth, who had been a student at Luke Skywalker's Jedi Praxeum on Yavin IV, commandeered the Sun Crusher, a deadly weapon of mass destruction. Durron used the weapon to attack Imperial Admiral Daala's fleet near the Cauldron Nebula. Star Destroyer Basilisk sustained significant damage._

_Durron turned his attention to the military installation at Carida. It is believed he targeted the planet in an effort to rescue his brother, Stormtrooper Zeth Durron. In an act many are labeling revenge, Durron ignited the system's primary. In a matter of hours Carida exploded. _

_The galaxy has only experienced the full destruction of a planet eleven years ago when the Death Star exploded Alderaan._

_Durron is being held in the maximum security prison on Coruscant._

oOOOo

**That's it!**

I don't hide my surprise at hearing

So few words

Written about me

She is playing a game

And I nearly get caught in her trap

But only nearly

Clever, I remind her

You want me to fill in the blanks

She begins her questioning

I smile

A charming smile and make her feel at ease

But I don't answer

Finally she gives up

So, what would you like to say to the galaxy

I know what she wants

And what she expects

So I answer

The Imperial threat is very real

We may have won the rebellion and created

A stable democracy

But it is in constant jeopardy

If concerned citizens don't

Remain vigilant

Forces such as Admiral Daala's

Will attack our planets and our cities

Our families

My attack on Carida was an effort

To strike at the heart of Imperial power

By taking the strong hold of their forces

Enough

Bellows one of the guards

A sandy haired human named Briol

He holds before me the remote

Which when depressed

Will send

Arching volts of electricity

Pouring into my neck and spinal cord

If I'm lucky I'd be enough to

Kill me

But I don't feel like dying today

Not when I have my message to get across

So I close my mouth

Briol backs away

Lowers his hand

Fixes me with a stare

Jennet gathers her things

Thanks me

For what I wonder

Just polite words

Beings are so trained

Polite words to someone she finds

Guilty and without remorse

It's there

Unspoken but plain

In her features her movements

The words see typed even when I remained reticent

She leaves

The guards close the door to my cell

Leaving me tethered to that annoying chair

Rodders

oOOOo

**Betrayal**

The cruelest dream visited me last night

I expect the hatred and condemnation of strangers

I have dreamed of the families of those who died

Small children cry for fathers and mothers

Their eyes accuse

I saved Zeth

I was in time

How different things would have been

In my dream I had Zeth in a Force grip

I lifted him onboard

My hands made contact with the hard casing of his uniform

He was limp, but breathing

I hastily pushed the storm trooper inside and closed the portal.

It was my last awareness as the star exploded taking the planet with it.

The ship tumbled without direction,

for how long I was not certain.

I awoke feeling sore all over, but the ships gravity had not failed,

nor had it's atmosphere

when I looked to my side I saw the still form of the storm trooper, my brother.

Feeling too weak to stand upright,

I slowly pressed myself to my knees and crawled to the prone form.

My hand upon Zeth's cheek felt warmth and life through the Force.

But my other hand felt a different kind of warmth

From the back of Zeth's head where the other soldier had bludgeon him,

Coagulated blood.

"Zeth, it's Kyp. Wake up, you're safe now."

My brother stirred lightly, but kept his eyes shut.

"Let me see if I can heal you."

I placed my hand on the back of Zeth's skull

once again and let the Force surge into the wound.

Heat intensified where my hand made contact

It seemed to be working,

but it was taxing my strength.

I trembled a bit and broke the connection,

but it was enough.

Zeth took a moment to focus

as he opened his eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I'm your brother, Kyp.

I just rescued you from Carida, you're safe now."

"I never was in danger.

Where are we?"

His voice sounded brittle

like he'd been days surrounded by the sands of Tattoine

"On a very special ship,

it's called the sun crusher

and it has the power to cause stars to go supernova,

that's what happened to Carida.

One more blow against the Empire.

I'm doing it in honor of mom and dad."

"What?" Zeth slurred.

"Mom and Dad?

Where are they?"

"The Imps took us to Kessel,

imprisoned us there,

but Mom and Dad were killed a year later

by the other inmates."

I did not conceal the look of pure hatred

that danced across my features.

"We'll continue their fight against injustice."

I paused and added in a whisper.

"I have special powers,

I can use the Force and

I can make people do what I want."

"Kid, are you okay?"

Zeth sat up and rubbed his head.

"I don't know why Dauron wanted to stop me.

I am excited to see you brother.

Look at you. You're like a man now."

"More than that, I'm a Sith Apprentice,

With what I've learned,

we can rule the galaxy.

Together

We can make the peace mother and father dreamed of."

"Kyp, Mom and Dad were pacifists,

they wouldn't roam the galaxy

with a super weapon seeking revenge and destruction.

It was never their way."

"But they did want peace and justice.

We will simply take a different path to get there. "

"We will do nothing.

We need to return to your rebel command.

Did they sanction this mission?"

"Rebels,"

"It is called the New Republic.

When they know what I have done they will be proud.

I'm just like Skywalker

blowing up the Death Star.

A hero

They will want me to perform new missions,

especially when they learn of my powers."

" My brother questions my powers and I have to explain.

"I was training to be a Jedi

When I discovered something

better

faster.

My new master is Exar Kun,

the most powerful Sith to ever live.

He has taught me much.

He has given me the ability

to make real change in this galaxy,

not the weak slow change

mother and father prattled on about."

"They tried their best Kyp.

What you're saying, it doesn't make sense.

How do you plan on destroying

the Empire by yourself?

You're what, sixteen?

And I'm finding it hard to believe

the Rebels sent you out here to attack Carida."

"Oh I didn't just attack it.

I blew it up."

"Where are we headed next?"

"We go to Byss,

the Core,

and take it!"

"Never!"

He lunged then

Throwing me from the captain's chair

Holding me down with his full weight

Warm hands around my neck

Spots appeared before my eyes

I was dying

At the hands of my brother

Who was an Imp

Who was the enemy

oOOOo

**Han Solo part ten or so**

Relentless

The man is relentless

He brings new meaning to the idea of Corellian stubbornness

Every day

At 1400 hours Han appears

The guards greet him respectfully

Give him space

Defer to him as hero

I wanted to be a hero

Save the galaxy from the Imperial threat

Instead I am labeled

Mass murderer

But not Han

What he did was okay

Rewarded

I can't hate him

Because no matter what I did

No matter what I say to him

Each day

Han stands in the doorway of my cell

"Hey Kid!"

Can't hate that


	5. Chapter 5

**Day Five : call me a Citizen again**

_**Judgment**_

The door slides open…"Come on, you have to meet with the council."

The guards enter; there are six in all

Intimidated by little me and the death I hold in my hands

"Am I having a trial?"

"Do I look like I know? I was told to escort you. "

Shackles again, wrists at my sides they lead me out

I shuffle along like an old man led through the prison complex.

Six guards in all,

A macabre parade

They fear me, they know what I can do

But I would never hurt them

They are not my enemies.

But if I attack

They will push the button and the energy will pulse through me

And if it's enough, my heart will stop

Aha! Maybe that was the secret, get blasted enough and die.

oOOOo

_**End**_

Zeth is dead

I am a murderer

I am free

The Republic will release me to Master Skywalker

It is his choice to decide my fate

Han says it is not Luke's way to seek vengeance

How do I face the man I nearly killed?

Han says he thinks I am still a great Jedi

Why does he still believe in me?

I return to Yavin

I return to Master Skywalker's

judgment

If he chooses to kill me, I will die honorably with my head held high

I remember

Too long ago

Father

Saying

You're just as good as everyone else

Dad? I'm really sorry…..you know that.

oOOOo

_**The Last Dream**_

Zeth stands on the platform

Dauron hits him in the head

Zeth falls

Precious minutes pass

I try

To

Grab

Him

But

I fail

I close the portal

Empty I watch

The heat

Consume

My brother

I tumble

Away

Tears

Ripped

From my eyes

oOOOo

_**Zeth Durron**_

He was my brother

He liked to swim and fish

And spend countless patient hours

Just playing with me

He laughed easy

Was popular with the girls

Top of his class

He had dreams

Potential

The empire took his future

I took his life

And even though I will always

Be the one

Who stopped his life at twenty-two

I am still

His baby brother

And I still love him

I hope he will forgive me

I hope he liked being a stormtrooper

Took pride in his job

Found friends

Had dreams

Maybe even a girlfriend

I hope he knows I tried

I tried so hard

To save him

I'm sorry big brother

oOOOo

_**If**_

If I am allowed to live, my life will be spent

Chasing evil

Fighting oppression

Saving children

Why should anyone live as I did?

oOOOo

**Platform**

Yavin's heat greets me as I step from the Falcon

Skywalker's gaze is like the twin suns of his home planet

But there is no hate in his eyes

Only concentration

The Prodigal son returning

Home?

Deyer a place from a long time ago where a boy

Lived

That boy died somewhere in space above Carida

This platform

Maybe this time

The one standing here

Can be saved.


End file.
